1.12.14 (Deep Thoughts About Death (again?))

I watched a wonderful film called Meet Joe Black, and it really got me thinking.
If you knew that today was your last day on Earth, your last day with the people you loved, the last chance you had to do what you wanted to do… What would you do? (that wasn’t really what the film was about, but it was a main theme, I think. Maybe?)
This question has been asked millions of times, I’m aware. But seriously consider it for a moment. What would you do?
The point has been brought up that you shouldn’t wait until your last day to behave in a way that brings you happiness. But let’s put that aside. Put aside all of the bullshit philosophy that follows this question and all the bullshit psychology behind your answers.
Want to know what I would do, as of today? As of who I am today? You’re reading my blog, so I assume you’re a bit interested. I’ll tell you, but I want to know about you, and what you would do, too. “Quid pro quo, doctah.” Leave comments about what you would do!
Firstly, I hope that I would wake up in time to see a sunrise. One of my life goals is to see at least 100. I hope I would’ve seen that many by that time. I wouldn’t watch long, though. No matter what the afterlife is like, I think it’ll have sunrises.
I wouldn’t tell anyone, either. But when I was done watching the sunrise, I would text everyone I know, and I’d invite them to the pub for later-tonight. Hopefully they would all start replying and ideally everyone would come to my last pub night, but that’s not  realistic, is it?
I would convince my mom to stay home from work, and I’d make her pancakes or scrambled eggs because she likes scrambled eggs and I’m good at making pancakes. Even though I would try to hide it from her, she would know. But she wouldn’t insist on spending the whole day with me. I’d drive to my dad’s place and listen to Led Zeppelin with him for a while even though I’m so sick of listening to Led Zeppelin with him.
Then, I would go back home and record horrible demos of all the songs I haven’t recorded yet. I’d write my will, and in it, I would leave part of my money to my mom so that she could go on a vacation when she scatters my ashes somewhere beautiful. The rest I would split between the Make a Wish Foundation and Free the Children, two of my favorite organizations. I’d Skype with my cousins while they were in class and make them laugh at inappropriate times. I would donate all of my clothes to a charity, except one dress. I would leave each of my guitars to a different ex and make them burn my favorite one and put it’s ashes with mine so I would never have to be without music. I would give my friends my books and write inspiring quotes in them so that whenever they read those books they wouldn’t feel lonely and my voice would read to them. But my comics would go to my cousin because he doesn’t read enough good comic books.
I would play music in the streets. I would busk for a while, just by myself, mediating on the healing power of music. And then I would sob on the subway ride home and make strangers uncomfortable. Maybe someone would talk to me, try to comfort me; but I would just tell them that I was okay, and ask them to tell me the most beautiful thing they ever knew.
I would go to the pub and have one drink. It’s green, and mean, and there is a lot of liquor in it. I’d enjoy every sip. I would talk to everyone and tell them exactly why I love them. Some people I would write letters. Like you, and him, and all the hers. Hopefully you all would be there and I could give them to you in person and hug and kiss you for the last time.
When that night was over, I would call my mom to pick me up. We would drive (I would, she hates driving in the dark, and I would be sober) to Bobcaygeon. And I would die listening to my favorite playlist on my iPod and holding my mom’s hand while watching the stars.
That’s what I would do on my last day right now, as of right this moment.
What would you do?

I debated a while about posting this. This is about as vulnerable as I’ve ever been on here I think. I hope this is the push someone needs to open up like this to someone else. Maybe that someone will be me! 


One thought on “1.12.14 (Deep Thoughts About Death (again?))

  1. Brady Siniard says:

    wow. This is very touching and Inspiring

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