Two lackeys for the mob are cleaning up a body and talking. They are in an apartment somewhere in the city; sirens are audible but not coming for them. The apartment is a shithole; it’s messy and obviously a bachelor pad. The body belongs to a shaggy-haired, ex-drug dealer. He had an obsession with Gary Oldman’s character in True Romance (1993). The lackeys are big men wearing wife beaters. Their shirts are hanging near the window. We come in half way through their conversation.

Lackey 1: “Well, you remember how much trouble we had finding someone to do it? And then James told us we should check the psych ward and break out a sociopath?”

Lackey 2: “Yeah, so what?”

1: “So, that’s it; it’s a perfect plan!”

2: “You have said less than nothing, my friend. What’s a perfect plan?”

1: “We just collect all these kid sociopaths and teach them how to be contract killers. It’s a school run by the UN or something, or by the American government, who knows. And, uh, they… you know, kill really bad people, I don’t know.”

2: “But what gives the American government the right to decide who lives and who dies? I mean I get it- terrorists from Al Qaeda are probably bad people. But look at us- we’re cleaning up a goddamn body!”

1: “I get it, we’re bad people, too. But these kids wouldn’t go killing people all the time, you know? Mostly it would just be a place where they could try and grow up kind of normal. These would be especially bad sociopaths, you know, so we would be watching over them and using them. Hence, the perfect plan.”

2: “… maybe. But who would run a place like this? You said the UN or our government, but are they really qualified to do so? Are they even qualified to decide what makes a person a sociopath or not?”

1: “You’re fixating on the whole morality behind this. I retract my previous statement- you can’t use morals to judge an immoral act. The reality is that contract killers do exist- why not make it something run by the government?”

2: “Oh, god, is this secretly about pot? About your plan to legalise pot and get it to stimulate the economy?”

1: “Don’t tell me that wouldn’t be an amazing idea! But no, it’s not about that- I mean, similar concept, yes, but this isn’t about pot. It just seems-“

2: “But, wait, could other people hire these kids? Like, could the boss hire one of these sociopathic child killers to kill his own choice of people?”

1: “…”

2: “You’ve barely thought this through, haven’t you?”

1: “So there are a few kinks to work out!”

2: “oh, come on! There’s no way this could be government sanctioned. If you wanted to get this off the ground, you’re better off getting the boss to run it. …Which actually wouldn’t be a horrible idea, really.”

1: “We’d have our own pool of killers, and the boss could make a little bit of profit from the kids- take 10% of their profits, distribute it how he wanted.”

2: “Yeah. Yeah. The boss has so many connections I’m sure we could keep this under the radar- you remember Girolamo? He’s a genius with all the cover ups and whatnot. I’m sure that he could work out how to make this place look legitimate.”

1: “We should bring this up to the boss… tomorrow.”

2: “Yeah, definitely.”



** I’m thinking of turning this into a sort of serial. Would you want to hear more about the two mob lackey’s and their ideas?**


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